Get the Word Out About Suicide

September is National Suicide awareness and prevention month and since veteran suicide is such a hot topic of discussion I felt the need to discuss it.  Suicide is an epidemic that affects hundreds of veterans and their families. I constantly attend meetings concerning veteran’s issues. One of the most recent was at the Veterans Administration (VA) concerning the Clay Hunt Suicide Prevention Act. Congress has tasked the VA with implementation of outreach and education programs concerning veteran’s suicide funded through the Clay Hunt act.   

Veteran suicide is nothing new. Historians estimate that as many as 200,000 Vietnam Veterans committed suicide after they came home from the Vietnam War. Sadly, the toll the Vietnam war took on our country may not be finished since 65% of all veterans who commit suicide are over the age of 50. 

Veterans represent only 7% of the US population but represent 18% of all suicides in the US. The suicide rate for veterans between ages of 18-29 was almost twice as high as their civilian counterparts. Since 2001 the suicide rate among veterans has surged 35% while female veteran suicide rate has increased 85% in the same period. Even though that is a lot of veterans who complete suicide the number is actually down since 2010, from 22 per day to 20 per day. 

A 2012 VA report has estimated that 65,335 veterans committed suicide from 2001 to 2010. This report only covers information from 21 states. These numbers could be low. There’s no data that discusses veterans who had bad paper discharges since the VA does not deem them veterans and they do not qualify for services.  For instance, an Army veteran who received a bad paper discharge after 16 years of service would not be considered a vet by the VA.  Even though the reason for the bad paper discharge was after multiple deployments, combat, PTSD and a failed marriage, he began to self-medicate to cope and was discharged for actions related to his alcohol problem.  The military used him up and the VA looks down on him and doesn’t include him in their veteran suicide statistics or give him benefits. Suicide by “accidental” drug overdose, or suicide by what was deemed any other type of accident are also not included. The most common method of suicide is the use of vehicles, weather wrecking them or jumping into traffic. Driving recklessly will not throw up a red flag for suicide, even though, as a clinician, I know that reckless driving can be a sign of suicidal thoughts. When a car is involved, it is all too easy for a suicide to be deemed an accident.

Signs of someone thinking of suicide

Folks considering suicide often give us clues that they are thinking of killing themselves. Examples of what someone might say or do if they are thinking of suicide are listed below.

• Appearing sad or depressed most of the time

• “I wish I were dead.”

• “If (such and such) doesn’t happen, I’ll kill myself.”

• I’m tired of life, I just can’t go on.”

• “My family would be better off without me.”

• “Who cares if I’m dead.”

• “I just want out.”

• “I won’t be around much longer.”

• “Pretty soon you won’t have to worry about me.”

Veterans who are considering suicide often show signs of depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and/or hopelessness. Their behavior may be dramatically different from their normal behavior, or they may appear to be actively contemplating or preparing for a suicidal act through behaviors such as:

• Performing poorly at work or school

• Showing violent behavior such as punching holes in walls, getting into fights or self-destructive violence; feeling rage or uncontrolled anger or seeking revenge

• Looking as though one has a “death wish,” tempting fate by taking risks that could lead to death, such as driving fast or running red lights

• Giving away prized possessions

• Putting affairs in order, tying up loose ends, and/or making out a will

• Seeking access to firearms, pills, or other means of harming oneself
  

The VA reported that the majority of veterans who completed suicide were not enrolled in the VA.  Enrollment in the VA and attending treatment represents a protective factor in suicide risk.  The Clay Hunt Act is meant to address the suicide rate by connecting more veterans with services through outreach and collaboration with mental health services in the local area. If you fear a loved one or a friend is thinking about suicide, please reach out for help. Often, people think that if they ask someone if they are thinking of suicide, it will put the thought in their head, that’s not the case.  My experience has been that if I feel a person may be thinking of suicide, they have given some signs and I should ask.  If they have done that, they want someone to intervene.  Frequently, they do not want to die, they just want the pain to stop.  They are usually so grateful that someone actually listened and reached out to offer a helping hand.  All you have to do is get them to help.  If someone mentioned suicide they are asking for help. The VA has established a 24/7 veteran hotline. Family member can call the VA suicide hotline if they fear their loved one is thinking of committing suicide. I hope everyone will utilize the resources that are available to them.     

Veterans Suicide Hotline
1-800-273-8255 press 1
Text: 838255

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro. 

Veterans and Their Families Have Mental Health Options

As a clinician I hear allot of stories that bring light to the severity of the mental health situation plaguing our veterans and their families. Mary is married to Doug, an Operation Iraqi Freedom (OIF) / Operation Enduring Freedom (OEF) veteran. Doug served three combat tours, those tours have affected their relationship in some concerning ways. Mary and Doug have been married for 17 years and have 2 children, 16 and 14 years old. Doug was an Air Force Non-Commissioned Officer (NCO) commanding convoys while in the Iraqi theatre. He is now medically retired after 18 years of service due to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Doug was trying to hold out for his 20 years to receive full retirement, but he could not contain and maintain his control of his PTSD for 2 more years, especially with another deployment looming. 

Mary, like many spouses are struggling to understand why Doug is so distant and will not open up to her like he used to. Many veterans don’t feel comfortable discussing their stories with their families and friends for fear of them not understanding. Veterans stories usually make them too vulnerable to tell anyone who has not been there. It is normal for spouses and families to struggle understanding what is going on with their loved ones. As Mary explained their problems I realized this is an ongoing theme in many veteran’s families. She feels the first two tours changed Doug, but the last tour changed his whole demeanor, she knows something happened, but not the specifics. Mary is struggling because he is not the same thoughtful, caring man and father she married seventeen years ago.

Doug commanded convoys moving supplies from the main base to Forward Operating Bases (FOB’s) in Iraq. During a convoy to a FOB they were hit by an Improvised Explosive Device (IED) and subsequently started taking small arms fire. In an instant Doug’s life changed forever, he lost one troop with two more injured. He received some minor injuries himself, but as all good NCO’s his concern was his troops. As he assessed the damage after the firefight he saw the carnage and the destruction of his troops and their equipment. He was in command of that convoy and bears the burden and guilt of those casualties. 

He struggles daily dealing with the guilt for not seeing the attack coming that killed and injured his troops. The realization that these troops were not much older than his own children continues to follow him. He continues to deal with survivor’s guilt and feels the need to contact his injured troops and the family of his lost troop, but he’s not ready to take that step, the guilt is too much for him. It was his job to protect his troops and he failed in his eyes. As time went on and he returned home to his family he tried to contain his symptoms from them and the Air Force. He started to drink heavily until Mary forced him to seek help. After getting help one of his greatest fears was realized, he was diagnosed with PTSD and medically discharged. He had lost his identity and was no longer a career Air Force NCO, he was Doug, a disabled veteran with no job to support his family. He has been unemployed since he received his medical retirement, making him feel useless. Doug went to the Veterans Administration (VA) for help and was placed on a waitlist, but eventually got into a group. After 12 group sessions and a few individual sessions he was told he had completed his treatment. He felt more was needed than he had gotten, but he didn’t push for more, the perception of the red tape and the feeling of discontent prevented him from seeking more help.

One of the common themes among many veterans is the distrust of the VA system. Who can blame them with the recent information about services? Many have trouble navigating the system because of their disabilities. This causes them to feel overwhelmed so they give up. Mary spent time exploring her options. As she looked around she saw other’s that were making moves to help veterans. Since the VA and Vet Centers offer limited services to families Mary found there was help outside the VA system.

Mary and Doug are now using one of these outside resources for help. They are still struggling but making progress. These outside resources understand the family is an integral part of the wellbeing of their veteran. They also understand that the families served and still serve their country by being married to Soldiers, Airman, Seamen, and Marine veterans. It is important that the military brats also get their due. They served by having their parents deployed for extended amount of time and missing a host of important events in their lives. These families still serve while dealing with the aftermath of war. These outside resources serve the whole family, not just the members. Many state and local communities offer services and support for veterans and their families. It is important that veterans and family members locate these services and utilize them.

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.

The Art of Self-Medicating

Brenda is an Iraqi freedom veteran who is 100% full and permanent disabled due to injuries suffered while in the Iraqi theatre of operations during the surge. Brenda suffers from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) as well as physical issues brought on by the Improvised Explosive Device (IED) that blew up her convoy. Like so many veterans, Brenda has a duel diagnosis. A duel diagnosis is when the veteran has a diagnosable mental health issue and a substance use disorder. One of the biggest issues mental health professionals who work with veterans, deal with is dual diagnosis. So often therapists must figure out if the symptoms are a mental health issue, or a substance abuse issue. To the untrained eye they can look similar, some having the same symptoms. Like many other veterans with physical and mental disabilities, Brenda uses marijuana and alcohol when it comes to trying to control her PTSD symptoms. She also uses the opioids given to her by the Veterans Administration (VA) for the pain. The problem is the cocktail of alcohol, marijuana, and opioids can lead to other issues, such as dependence or even death under the wrong circumstances.  

So many veterans turn to marijuana or alcohol to work through their issues concerning PTSD. Many veterans do not like to take the psychotropic medication given them by the VA because they don’t like the way it makes them feel, so they turn to alcohol or illicit drugs such as methamphetamines, cocaine, and various other narcotics. Veterans often choose alcohol because it is acceptable in the veteran/military culture. With the veteran culture, it is easy to hide the self-medicating because drinking is the “norm”. No one says anything about getting a beer or an alcoholic drink, it is the culture. With the recent legalization of marijuana in many states, marijuana is now becoming accepted just like alcohol. Many times, it is hard to tell if a person is self-medicating. Noticing the problem of drug and alcohol use can be difficult. Family and friends want to believe the user when they say there’s not a problem. Those who suffer from dependence of drugs and alcohol are good at hiding it. After a while it appears to become a game and seen as an art form by some, with the elaborate excuses and denials the user comes up with. When alcohol and marijuana doesn’t do the trick, and prescription drugs are unavailable veterans turn to the use of illicit drugs.    

For the most part, illicit drugs are not an acceptable way to self-medicate while on Active Duty, in the Guard or Reserves. Often service members use alcohol because using illicit drugs to self-medicate can get a service member a dishonorable or other than honorable discharge that can go with them the rest of their lives. It is at a last resort that a military member uses illicit drugs while in the military. What they do is turn to prescription drugs when they can get them. The military has a history of giving out prescription drugs to keep soldiers available to deploy.      

The misuse of prescription drugs within the military and veteran communities is rampant. So many veterans with PTSD, anxiety, and depression turn to the use of whatever they can get to deal with their issues. The option is often prescription medication such as opioids. With roughly a third of the Army on prescription medications, branches of the military are starting to try and curb the use of prescription medications and limit their availability. For some it is too late and they move on to the VA to continue the cycle. A multitude of veterans don’t trust the VA, so they use what they can, alcohol and other illicit drugs.     

The mistrust of the VA and the system is warranted in some cases. I have talked to several veterans that refuse to utilize the VA because they are worried they will lose their benefits because they use marijuana for their PTSD. Concerning marijuana, the VA feels minimal clinical research testing has been done on any combination of illicit drugs, especially marijuana. According to the VA controlled studies have not been conducted to evaluate the safety or effectiveness of medical marijuana for PTSD. The VA feels there’s no evidence that marijuana is an effective treatment for PTSD. It is easy to see how Brenda has gotten caught up in the self-medicating quagmire, for her the use of marijuana helps with her PTSD, and trying to convince her that it’s not, is futile.

For many veterans, the self-medicating is real. The VA needs to step up and accept that. If they want veterans to stop self-medicating they need to accept the fact that it’s happening and do something about it. Veterans are doing the best they can when dealing with their physical and mental issues, and using illicit drugs and alcohol is what they are doing. The VA needs to stop preaching and start treating veterans who self-medicate.  I know the VA is trying to get a marijuana trial off the ground, but that is a conversation for another day.

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.

Thank You for Your Service

Every veteran I know is proud of their military service. Some veterans don’t want to be recognized for their military service, and some, like me. are ok standing out. Since the wars began in 2001 I've seen more and more people wearing military veteran patches, hats, and stickers on their cars. It appears that a lot veterans have become accustomed to being appreciated and recognized for their sacrifices. This is especially true for Vietnam veterans who were treated so badly when they returned home from the jungle, even veterans who did not serve in Vietnam were treated badly just because they wore the uniform. Each member looks at their military service differently. One of the most recent things I have seen is how different veterans approach the “thank you for your service” comment and how it affects them.

I struggled for a long time not knowing how to answer someone thanking me for my service, it kind of made me uncomfortable. There are those who love being thanked, those who hate it, and those who just ignore it. In my opinion, the Vietnam era veterans are the vets who deserve to be thanked the most because they were treated so badly upon their return. They were spit on, yelled at, and called all kinds of names by people who had no clue about what they’re talking about. I am glad that our society has come around to understand that Vietnam veterans were doing their job and doing what they had to do to get back to their family safe, which is what every person would have done put in the same situation.

The veteran’s that get overlooked most are the non-combat veterans. These veterans feel they don't deserve credit for their time in service. So few in this country have given a part of their life to their country. These non-combat veterans also deserve credit, they signed their name on the line to give their life for this country just like combat veterans did. It doesn't matter whether a veteran was drafted, or volunteered, they deserve to be thanked for their service as much as anyone else.

A lot of our newer veterans have seen so much combat because of so many combat tours. Our newest veterans are the ones who have been forced by the military to take more than one tour. These men and women have volunteered to serve our country and deserve to be thanked for their service too. Each veteran generation is different and looks at their service differently. I know when I was in the military I didn’t want any recognition, I just wanted to go to work and come home. Now that I'm retired and miss the camaraderie. I often seek out other military veterans to have conversations. I wear my hat, designating my veteran status because it’s something I am proud of. But not all veterans seek out the recognition that some of us do.

There are times civilians need to be mindful because we don’t know what we're thanking them for. Generally, during combat, everyone must do things they're not proud of, to survive and get back home to their families. Often combat veterans must deal with things for the rest of their lives that they had to do during war. People who have never been in the military don’t always understand why they did what they had to do. By thanking them for their service you may be thanking them for something they're ashamed of or struggling with. Its important civilians understands that it can be complicated for the vet to be thanked for their service.

I've talked to several veterans over the years and some are okay with people walking up to them and thanking them. Some veterans refuse to wear any clothing that indicates any part of the military because they do not want to be approached by strangers. I know when I first started getting thanked my service I was uncomfortable because to me I was just doing my job just like everyone else who has served. I didn't know what to say, I didn't know how to act, and I felt a little embarrassed to be honest. I now handle it by saying thank you and just leave it at that. The best way I have been approached was by someone telling me they liked my veteran’s hat. So often the person that thanks me is another military veteran and a I usually ask what branch they were in, starting up a conversation. These conversations are fun for me because I missed the camaraderie and I get a little bit of it when I'm talking to other veterans. I don't like it when people interrupt my dinner but other than that I have become accustom to being approached. My guess is if a person is wearing military paraphernalia then they're okay to approach and thank for their service.

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.

Telling Your Story Can Be Important

Vicki is the spouse of a Vietnam veteran. She is Sam’s second wife and they have been married for 20 years. When Sam and Vicki were first married everything was great. As they began to age Vicki started to notice Sam’s demeanor changing. Major changes in Sam’s attitude came about a year after he retired. Vicki confronted Sam on his behavior, Sam told her there was nothing wrong, she was being over sensitive. Vicki disagreed with Sam and turned to his 40-year-old daughter Samantha because she needed to enlist her help to get Sam help. Vicki told Samantha about Sam’s recent increase in alcohol use and how she worried Sam was headed down a bad path. Samantha confronted Sam about his drinking which made Sam mad. Sam really became upset when he found out Vicki had been talking to his daughter about his “alleged” problem that he felt did not exist. Vicki, felt she had done what she needed to do and stood her ground. Was Vicki right to talk to Samantha? Did she tell her too much? How much or how little you tell someone depends on the situation, and every situation can be different.  

Being effective at telling your story is an art. It can be difficult to tell family members what is happening with your relationship. In Vicki’s case she told her step-daughter Samantha what was happening with her dad. Sam’s drinking had increased since he retired. Vicki disclosed to Samantha that Sam had started spending more time at the Veterans of Foreign War (VFW) drinking than he spent with her. Sam had never treated Vicki this way until recently and Vicki was at a loss as to what to do. Vicki did not turn to her children because they might not understand that Sam’s PTSD had re-surfaced since his retirement. Vicki turned to Samantha because Sam and Samantha are so close, he might listen to her. It appears the idea to talk to Samantha backfired. Sam felt Vicki told his daughter too many details about their relationship, making the situation worse. Learning how to tell your story is important, even to family. Often details are not important so leaving them out is OK. Telling family your situation is one thing, but explaining to a friend is another.  

It can be embarrassing for friends to know what is going on in your relationship. It’s hard for Vicki to explain why Sam doesn’t accompany her to events anymore. Vicki made excuses for Sam’s absences for months. After a while she stopped going to events because she did not want to explain her situation with Sam to her friends. After a while Vicki felt she needed to explain what is going on with Sam, unlike Samantha this time she left out the details. Her friends understood and started to engage Sam hoping to help. It is human nature to want to explain the details. It can be hard to leave them out and it takes practice. The real struggle comes when you have to explain to a stranger your situation.       

At times there is a need to tell a stranger your story. For instance, a therapist, or other helping professional or another wife dealing with the same issues. A random stranger on Facebook does not have a need to know.  Opening up and sharing our story is a powerful way to connect and be supported.  However, this can also be very stressful because of the stigma attached to mental illness. People like to ask questions. When strangers ask, telling them as much or as little as you want is your option. There is a balance to disclosing personal information, finding your disclosure level is different for everyone. Finding that balance is important. If you tell every detail, you might overwhelm them, which will cause disconnect, if you don’t tell them anything they might feel you are hiding something and judge you, also causing disconnection. The goal here is to connect by telling your story, telling the details that will connect you to another person, making important decisions about who you will tell your story to, and the reason you are telling that particular person your story drives how much you tell of your story and which details to disclose.  These are decisions you need to make beforehand.  That will keep you and the person out of overwhelm and be more likely to facilitate connection.   

Unfortunately, mental illness such as PTSD is an invisible disability unlike a missing limb. When you tell your story about PTSD be prepared for people to not understand. Society looks at someone who is missing a limb or has a physical scar differently. Being able to tell your story without the details can save a lot of frustration. It is possible that telling your PTSD story can change people’s understanding of what is like to be married to someone with PTSD.      

How much or how little you tell anyone is up to you. So much of people’s lives are out in public and on social media today, people believe it is ok to push you to disclose to their satisfaction. You do not have to give in.  After WWII, Korea, and Vietnam when someone would ask what is going on with Sam, all you had to say was he was in the war, and the subject was usually dropped. It does not appear to be that way anymore. Whatever the situation, with family, friends, or strangers to be successful at telling your story you need to be a little vulnerable. But being vulnerable does not mean you have to get into every detail. You own your story; you do not need to tell all of the details unless you want to. When you discuss your story with anyone you need to think it through. You need to decide how much or how little to divulge before you talk to others. Also recognizing what parts of the story are yours and which are his.  Telling someone your husband has PTSD is very different from telling them the details of how he acquired the disorder. Your spouse has the right to tell their own story, and make decisions about which details to disclose, just as you do. Telling your spouse’s story may be overstepping, further straining the relationship. 

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.

Spouses of Veterans Deal with Backlash

I met Jenny at a local veteran’s event where she disclosed the loss of her husband Jack the last few months of his life. Jenny watched her husband struggling to try and deal with his past service in Vietnam. Not wanting to get into the details of her loss at the veteran’s event I offered to meet her for coffee. Jenny started discussing some situations that she had been through with her husband before his death. Jack struggled the last months of his life dealing with his feelings concerning the 40th anniversary of the fall of Saigon. He routinely sat in front of the television glued to the shows about the Vietnam War and the fall of Saigon. According to Jenny watching the onslaught of documentaries and shows brought on by the 40th anniversary tormented Jack. These shows reminded him of things he had forgotten or tried to forget for all those years. The anniversary appeared to push him back into thoughts and feelings he had suppressed for so many years. Jenny felt she could see the demise of his spirit as the days went on and she could do nothing about it, Jack was in a deep depression. 

With Vietnam being the first “Television War” there is allot of footage to be shown. Vietnam was the first time war coverage reached a point to where graphic and cynical reporting was the norm and aggressively reported. For the first time the media was given free range to cover the war. The media was allowed the freedom to make decisions about what to cover and who to interview in the field. Anyone from a private to a general could be interviewed on the battlefield without censorship. Journalist were given seats on military aircraft to anywhere within the war zone. This equated to the first time the savagery of war was shown on the nightly news to a national audience. This was also the first time the government had not censored the war coverage. The nonmilitary population had never seen the reality of war and were troubled by what they saw on the news. The media coverage was so intense that some politicians argued that the media was to blame for the protesting within the civilian population and the wars outcome. There are more images of the Vietnam conflicts than any previous war, including the recent wars where government has limited the media’s access. Our Vietnam veterans watch these shows and documentaries and struggle with the outcome of their efforts and the way they were treated upon their return home. With the 40th anniversary of the fall of Saigon, many veterans struggle with the cost of a failed effort and what their friends died for sending some into a deep depression.      

With the advent of cable television the shows and footage produced on past wars has become a mainstay, especially Vietnam. The History Channel, A&E, The Military Channel, Military History Channel, American Hero’s Channel, Discovery Channel, and many others continually show documentaries which bring back negative memories for our Vietnam veterans. According to Jenny, Jack sat in front of the TV mulling over his part and the cost of war. As Jack’s health, detreated sitting in front of the TV Jenny summonsed one of Jacks Marine buddies. It wasn’t until his buddy told him it was ok to get counseling that Jack started to attend mental health therapy sessions. Jack was told he needed to start physically moving and stop watching the Vietnam stories on TV for his sake and Jennies.    

As our Vietnam Veterans age and lose their mobility there activities are limited. Many times they sit and watch TV shows about the history they lived and look back at choices they had to make. Some wonder how they will be perceived by God when they die. Some question their faith and ask themselves if they will go to heaven because of what they had to do for their survival. It is proven that we look back at our lives as we age and the legacy we leave. To many the Vietnam War is a defining part of their lives.

It was obvious Jenny intensely loved Jack. She wanted other families of veterans to understand there is help and sometimes it takes another veteran to help move the process forward. After talking to her I started to wonder, are we creating another set of veterans that will have to endure what the Vietnam veterans are feeling now. I already have seen the start of troubles that the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria (ISIS) is causing with our new troops. I have worked with a couple of Operation Iraqi Freedom OIF veterans that are struggling with what is happening in Iraq. Our new veterans are starting to feel a loss for of the land they and their friends fought and died for. Some of the land they fought and bled for is now in the hands of terrorist. They start questioning the cost of the war effort. They question whether the lives of their comrades were in vein. Will they be in the same situation our Vietnam veterans and their families are in now, dealing with the loss of what they fought so hard for? Only history will tell.     

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.

A Salute to Vietnam Veterans

Rusty was a Marine in Vietnam. I worked for his brother while I was in the Air Force. He was born and raised in Texas but decided to live in an area where there were less people. He was a strong man that never would ask for help, but you could tell there was something not quite right about his demeanor. He was a good man but grumpy most of the time. He never had children and had been married several times. He owned his own business so he could stay away from people and crowds. No one fully understood him except his brother, Sammy. Sammy was also a Vietnam veteran, Sammy’s job was an aircraft mechanic at Ton Son Nhut Air Base Vietnam, and was occasionally sent out to the jungle to retrieve parts and remains from downed aircraft. There were times Sammy had to remove pilots he knew.  

Rusty’s job was to re-supply troops on the front line and other forward operating units. These missions were usually done in a convoy, but that didn't make it any easier. These convoys were under consistent fire from the Vietcong day in and day out as they drove back and forth from their supply missions. It was a stressful job, during one of these missions Rusty was the lead truck. While Rusty was the lead truck, a woman stepped out into the road and tried to get Rusty to stop. His orders were to stop for no one. Rusty had to run over that woman standing in the road. What people struggle to understand, often there would be a sniper in the bushes ready to shoot the driver and take the supplies. When Rusty returned to the United States, like most Vietnam veterans, he was not met with open arms.

Many Vietnam veterans struggle with the way they were treated when they returned home. I know when I returned from Desert Storm the Vietnam veterans made sure we were treated well upon our homecoming. There are still Vietnam veterans today that struggle with the way they were treated by society when they returned and how the new veterans are being treated by society. I had one Vietnam veteran make the statement that “when we returned home we were spit on and threatened, now everyone of today's veterans are considered a hero and treated with respect”. I have talked to several people, both civilian and veterans, who feel today's veterans are treated well out of guilt for the way Vietnam veterans were treated when they came home. Many older veterans feel they have been overlooked. The reality is they have. It pains me to see Vietnam veterans struggle because they can't get the medical care, benefits, pay, and college that the newer generation veterans are receiving because of the work put in by the Vietnam era veterans.

The question is how does society help the Vietnam veterans get what they have earned. Vietnam veterans have been used as a baseline to establish the criteria for posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). I have heard that some Vietnam veterans have not been diagnosis for PTSD because it did not exist when they completed their service. The Veterans Administration (VA) will be struggling for a very long time dealing with our Vietnam veterans as they get older. As the Vietnam veterans get older some of the hidden issues they've buried for 40+ years are going to surface. The VA has been, and still is ill-prepared for the number of combat veterans in the United States. It is possible that it will be years before the VA can catch up to the need, if ever. Many of these brave men and women have not received the benefits they deserve from the VA; the question is who is going to help them if the VA is not able to?

There are places in the civilian sector where veterans can go for help. It is my suggestion that veterans who are struggling get the help, not give up and contact their local Veterans Service Organization to get the help they have earned. If it wasn't for veterans the United States might not have the rights and freedoms we so cherish in our country. To all veterans I would like to say, thank you. To the Vietnam veterans I would like to say that I respect you more than you can ever know. You have earned that respect and always will have my respect because of the way you carried yourself after being treated badly upon your return. You are my brothers and sisters. Rusty and Sammy are both gone now, but they are a big reason I have chosen to do what I am doing, trying to help veterans and their families get the respect and benefits they deserve and have earned.

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.

Broken Promises

I was talking to Vincent at a veteran’s event and he discussed his experience with the Veterans Administration (VA). Vincent is a US Air Force veteran who was stationed in Guam during Vietnam.  He is now retired and living on Social Security struggling to make ends meet. Even though Guam was used to support aircraft used in the Vietnam, it didn’t matter. Vincent went to the VA and requested services and was told he did not qualify for them because he didn’t have “boots on the ground” in theatre, the requirements to get some services from Vietnam and did not have a service connected disability rating.  He went to the VA expecting to get the prescription medication and medical benefits he was promised when he joined the Air Force in 1964. Vincent hoped he could use the VA to fill the prescriptions he needed while living on his limited income. Vincent was turned down for his prescription medications and was upset. He was told he would be taken care of by the VA when he separated from the military, the times have changed.

Vincent like most veterans received his honorable discharge after 4 years and went about his life as most 22-year old’s do. He got a good job with the county allowing for a comfortable living for himself and his family. He had insurance from his county job and did not feel the need to get benefits from the VA, he was covered. He has believed since 1964 that he was eligible for services from the VA, but chose not to use them because others needed those services more than he did. It wasn’t until recently when he went to get help that he found out he was not eligible for any services because he did not file a claim at the time of separation from the military for anything.

One of the biggest misconceptions in our society is that the VA provides all services for veterans. The reality is they don’t. Many civilians assume the VA takes care of veterans because they are told all veterans receive benefits. This is technically true if you don’t have a dishonorable discharge. What they don’t say is not all services are medical. The VA doesn’t freely discuss their requirements, you must ask someone who knows, or go on their web page and try to figure it out. They just let society believe they provide services to all veterans and assume veterans are taken care of, but there not.

The events of 9/11 changed the way the VA operates. The promise to prior veterans was rescinded in 2003 because of limited resources and a mandate to provide quality and timely healthcare to veterans. The VA established guidelines mandated by the new policies and we live with them today. The VA decided to stop enrolling non-combat veterans, and non-service connected disabled veterans whose income exceeded the VA threshold for the area the veteran lives in for years. Like many veterans who are retired Vincent was barely over the income threshold.  

Before we start beating up the people at the VA we need to realize they are under the control of politicians. When the politicians say, they want to cut cost to entitlements, the VA is one of those entitlements. When politicians decide to go to war they don’t include the cost of veteran’s care. The VA is funded with what seems to most Americans as a lot of money for services, the problem is there is still not enough money to go around. With the newest veterans, Vietnam era veterans, and cold war veterans all getting older there is an extensive need for the VA funding to increase. Battlefield medicine has improved so significantly that most who would have died on the battlefield are now injured and require extensive care. The government is ill equipped to handle the need and it is only going to get worse.

Vincent feels fortunate that he left the military unscathed, but there are many who get out and are struggling now because of what they did in their early 20’s. Jumping off equipment or jumping out of perfectly good aircraft is hard on the body, the abuse increases the pain as they age. Some of the aches and pains veterans have as they age could be attributed to their time in the military. Medical care should not be an issue, if you served in the military you should not have to fight for benefits, especially minimum benefits such as prescription medication. The VA should honor the promises made to this country’s veterans. If the VA wants to stop funding care for a certain class of veteran that is fine, just don’t make it retroactive to those who were promised services for life. Make it for those entering the military now and let them know there are requirements to receive benefits from the VA. Make sure if you are a veteran or a family member keep checking with the VA about services, the rules constantly change and a veteran who was not eligible last time they checked, might be eligible now.

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.